Improve Communication Today
When you improve communication in your relationship, you’re investing in a skill that can lead to a long lasting relationship.
But when communication begins to breakdown, it can have a significant impact on your relationship if left ignored.
Which brings us to the third relationship essential:
“Thou shalt not threaten the existence of the relationship,
for so doing would benefit no one.” (Stan Tatkin)
Improve Communication within Your Relationship Today
You don’t have to put this off until some point in time, until all things are “perfect”, until ____ (fill in the blank).
You can begin working on your relationship and creating better communication today! Right now if you choose…
First Step – Awareness
So, how do I do this?
First, it begins with awareness.
Awareness of how comfortable you and your spouse or partner are with sharing parts of yourself with each other.
Awareness of how comfortable you are in sharing your hopes, your dreams. Sharing who you are with each other.
This first step of awareness can help provide insight into how emotionally secure you feel in your relationship.
When you’re feeling emotionally secure in a relationship, you can be more free to open up and be vulnerable with one another, making room for better communication and understanding to develop.
“Threats” to Better Communication
Sharing or opening up by both partners is important. It allows for balance within the relationship. It allows each partner to be heard and seen by the one they love.
But, sometimes it can be hard to communicate with each other. Especially when one or both partners are triggered by something that leads to an argument where “threats” to the relationship can pop up.
Some of the ways these “threats” pop up are:
- One partner “threatens” to leave the relationship for example,
- Or, one partner walks out during a disagreement as another example.
These “threats”, while at the moment might be the only thing someone knows to do to help stop the argument, or help stop the uneasy feelings that are coming up, can become misunderstood. And, if continually repeated, can “threaten” a secure relationship foundation.
Communication Breakdown
Partners can feel dismissed, ignored, misunderstood, and insignificant when their partner turns away from them – as in the examples above – by threatening to divorce, break-up, or leaving the room – when vulnerabilities and emotions are high.
How to Change Communication Patterns Today
- Become aware of current communication patterns between you and your partner
- If you feel comfortable in sharing with your partner, set aside a time where there aren’t any distractions and you can give each other some undivided attention
- Ask questions and be curious about each other. Ask about hopes and dreams for the future…talk about memories you have of fun times together and things you might be able to do now to bring some of that fun back into your relationship
Help is Available
If you’re struggling with your relationship communication patterns and want help, contact me today: anna@counselingwithanna.com or 512.550.7918.
Blog is intended for educational and informational purposes only.
