Relationship Skills for Couples…
Relationship skills take practice!
Some relationship skills might be easier for you than others and some might be easier for your partner than others…but, the suggestion below is one that can benefit you both!
As we make our way through the 10 Relationship Essentials for a Secure Functioning Relationship, authored by Stan Tatkin, here’s the fourth consideration:
“Thou shalt appoint thy partner as go-to person for all matters,
making certain thy partner is first to know
—not second, third, or fourth—
in all matters of importance.” (Stan Tatkin)
Is your partner the first to know when important things occur? Or, do you tell a family member, friend, or co-worker first?
Are you the first person your partner tells when something important occurs?
Relationship Skills – Being 1st To Know – Why is this important?
Being the first to know in all matters of importance is important for creating a sense of togetherness.
It helps strengthen the emotional bond between you.
Being the first to know helps partners feel secure within their relationship.
Question:
- Can you think of a time when you or your partner was the last to know about something of importance to you or your relationship?
- Can you reflect on what that was like for you or your partner having learned of this information second, third or maybe fourth hand?
Often this doesn’t feel good. It can lead couples to feeling like they aren’t important to each other when in fact, they might be the most important thing in the world to each other.
But when feeling as if they are the last to know…it can really bring up hurt feelings.
I believe this principle has the potential to help transform relationships and help improve communication.
Maybe this relationship consideration is new to you. Maybe you’ve never thought about this idea before, or maybe never had it modeled for you throughout your lifetime. But, if it resonates with you now, it can be an impactful component to building relationship skills for a healthy relationship and improved communication.
By Anna McElearney, LMFT
*Blog is intended for educational and informational purposes only.
