Important Ways Marital Counseling Can Help Your Marriage
Marital counseling is such a gift spouses give each other. Through your commitment to help your marriage, you’re letting each other know how much you mean to each other.
Sometimes this can get missed when couples first start marital counseling together. But what I’ve seen is that often through the therapy process, couples start to see how much they really do mean to each other.
Couples start to see that often what gets in between them is a pattern of communicating that is causing distance and disconnection. And that at the heart of it, each longs to be heard and understood by the other.
That’s where I can help.
This relationship blog is about how to start looking at the pattern of how you both interact with each other in times of need. As you reflect on these questions, you can start to think about some strengths and areas for growth in your marriage.
There are some over arching umbrella questions – bolded below. Under each of the bolded questions, there are more specific questions that get at the heart of what this might mean and/or look like for you.
If you need any help with this or if you decide marital counseling might be your next step, please reach out and contact me today.
Is Your Spouse There When You Need Them? Do They Show Up for You?
These are important questions that impact our relationship with our wife/husband.
How many times in your relationship has your spouse been there for you when you’ve needed them? How often have you been able to reach out and ask them for help or support?
Below, I’d like to offer you something to think about. Or, maybe you could take some time, pull out your journal (if you like journaling) and answer the questions below.
If you’ve been reading my blogs for a while now, you’ll know that one of the most important things in a relationship is a true knowing that if and when you need your spouse that they will be there for you. That they will hear you, see you, understand you.
In this blog, I’ve gone into that big foundational question a little deeper. What does it mean. What does it look like?
Questions to Consider
Below, I provide a sampling of what kinds of questions you can ask yourself to better understand your marriage. Both how you show up in your marriage. And what you need from your spouse.
I really like these questions because they get at the heart of many of our longings. What we might be feeling inside but not saying out loud to our partners. You might – through reading these questions – realize…”Oh Wow, Yeah! That IS how I’ve been feeling. I just didn’t know how to put them into words.”
If after reading through some of these questions, you think it might be helpful to go through these questions with a couples therapist, please feel free to reach out to me. I’d be glad to schedule you and your spouse for a marital counseling session. I can help you go through these questions in a way that can help you both learn more about each other’s wants and dreams.
Are you there when you need each other?
Things to think about on this.
- Can you get your spouse’s attention?
- Does your spouse respond to your need for attention?
- Do the above two happen easily? Or is it a struggle?
- In what ways does your spouse show you you’re a priority?
- Can you talk to your spouse and feel like he/she is really listening to you?
Will you respond to me when I reach out to you?
- Can you ask your spouse for a hug when you need comfort?
- Do you tell your spouse your inner most feelings and know he/she will keep your trust?
- Are you able to give your spouse the benefit of the doubt even during disagreements?
- Can you tell your spouse – during times when you’re needing reassurance – that you need to hear from them that you are important to him/her?