5 Steps Toward Creating Relationship Goals That Last
When was the last time you’ve thought in terms of goals for your relationship? We might not be thinking of improving our communication in our relationships with setting relationship goals but this post might help change that!
Benefit of Creating Relationship Goals
Goals are important to keep us motivated, structured, and in alignment with a vision we have for our future – they keep us feeling focused and in control of our decision making and time managment – which is why starting to think in terms of creating relationship goals for your relationship is just as important and powerful…
Relationships have the unique power to enhance and nurture us. When we’re communicating with our partners about our hopes and dreams, it can create a beautiful bond and vastly improve communication in your relationship.
Here are 5 steps that I hope you find fun and fulfilling as you begin to create and nurture your relationship goals!
1. Create a Vision of Us
Creating a vision for your relationship can help you and your partner start a conversation about what matters most to you both.
A conversation about what type of partner you want to be. And, the type of partner you want and need from your significant other.
It can start a conversation, or improve communication, about the level of intimacy you’d like to have; or maybe you’re already at that level and want to have a conversation about how to maintain that in your relationship. A conversation around what is needed from both of you to keep that spark alive.
Part of your vision could also include values you both hold close to your heart. You could include values in your creation of your vision of “us” that move your relationship closer to those values or how to maintain them.
The vision can also detail rituals you both enjoy that help connect and bond you to one another. The list is endless…my hope is that these offerings spark some thoughts on how you can develop this in your relationship.
2. Be Open to Listening To Each Other
A significant part of healthy communication between you is being able to listen and really hear each other. This is especially true as you begin creating your relationship goals.
As I mentioned in Step 1, if you’re going to create a vision of what it means to be an “us,” you’re going to have to have dialogue with each other.
Dialogue that includes open communication between you where one partner can share his/her wants, dreams and needs while the other listens and really seeks to understand their partner. And vice versa…
As you begin communicating about your relationship goals and all the possibilities of what this could look like and how it could be meaningful to you both, look for those “sparkle moments” – glimpses of when you see your partner get energized.
These might be important moments to explore together and learn more about each other and your relationship. And, like I mentioned in the last paragraph – vice versa…you’re partner will look for those “sparkle moments” in you.
You can also pay attention to what sparks excitement in you as you think about your relationship and what you might envision and have conversations around that…
3. Allow Yourself To Ask For What You Want
Sometimes it can be hard to ask for what we need and want. But, as you begin thinking about developing your relationship goals and talking with your partner about how this might look in your relationship, there is no better time than the present to embrace this opportunity and give yourself the okay to ask for what you want and need.
As you begin to open up about what you want, allow for openness in your communication with each other and invite questions from your partner about these needs so that you both can develop attainable goals. And, goals that are personal and intimate to your relationship.
4. Allow Your Partner To Ask For What They Want
The rules for Step #3 apply to your partner also! – Another way of saying…vice versa.
Don’t forget to celebrate!! As you begin communicating more about what you both envision for your relationship, what you’d like to do personally as a partner, what you want your partner to do, what your partner wants, how you both would like the relationship to look and feel, don’t forget one of the most important steps – celebrate your successes!
Remember to acknowledge all that you both are doing, both individually and together, as you nurture and enhance your relationshp.
Celebrating each other and the “us” that is the both of you – can be as simple as showing each other gratitude, saying thank you, saying that you appreciate each other, saying I love you, etc…
Good news is, these can be done every day, multiple times throughout the day, and have a lasting impact.
You both have put in the “work” – and hopefully had fun doing it – so be sure to celebrate each other every day!