Impacting Communication in Relationships
If you’ve had a chance to look through some of my relationship blog posts, I’m sure you’ve noticed how much I talk about communication in relationships!
Today, I’d like to share a relationship myth that can impact communication in relationships and is one that might not be talked about all that often…
Relationship Myth: “My Partner Isn’t Grieving Right”
This relationship myth is focused on grief and loss. When a loss happens in a relationship, such as the death of a loved person, it can be common for partners to become worried about each other if they think the other is “not grieving right.”
When someone we love dies, it can cause intense emotions – which is actually what grief is – a set of intense emotions. And similarly to other emotions, everyone is unique in how they respond, acknowledge, or even know what feelings they might be having. The same is true with grief. Everyone grieves differently.
There are a lot of messages out there in the world that convey the message that a person “should” act or behave in a certain way and this is no different when it comes to messages on how a person “ought to” grieve. But, there is no right or wrong way to grieve. There is no set pattern or particular stages that a person has to go through in order to get to the next one. Intense emotions, like grief, do not subscribe to set prescriptions.
There is no absolute time allowance on how long or how short a person should grieve. Loss typically doesn’t just happen once, there are many moments in our lives, both big milestone moments and everyday moments, that can spark a memory and reinforce the loss that is felt.
The most important thing you can do for each other, when a loss occurs, is to “be there with each other.” To be “present” with one another. There isn’t anything you “have” to say or “do” just your presence can be the support needed. Your presence can be the communication needed.
If you’re in the Austin area and want relationship help, couples therapy, or marriage counseling, contact me today.
