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Improving Marital Sex with Desire

February 20, 2017 by Anna McElearney

Improve Sex and Intimacy In Your Marriage

Marital Sex – Does it have to be boring?

Sex after marriage – there are many messages out there that imply marital sex isn’t as fun or as often as it was during the dating period. But, is this true?

Martial Sex and Desire

Marital sex can be wonderful between two spouses. The bond created through your commitment to each other can have a great impact on the quality of your sexual relationship.

For many couples, as their relationship deepens, they naturally begin moving into more “love” talk versus “desire” talk. And while loving talk is wonderful and necessary, so too are words that convey desire for one another…

What’s the difference?

Think about when you first started dating. You might recall the way you would talk with each other. You might have used language that was more about attraction, desirability and wanting. And as your relationship grew, you might recall how your language might have changed toward more affection, nurturing, and warmth.

Both equally necessary…

But for this blog, I want to focus on how desire can impact marital sex positively.

Desire Talk

Steps toward incorporating desire talk to boost your marital sex:

  • Begin becoming comfortable talking about sex
  • Begin becoming comfortable with sex or “sexy” talk

Talk about sex with each other.

  • What you like, what you don’t.
  • What do you fantasize about.

Having a space where you both can begin to open up to dialogue about sex can be very beneficial for couples. But don’t forget one very important ingredient needed when talking about sex with each other:

  • Be kind – this isn’t a time to criticize or blame each other! Instead, this is a wonderful opportunity for connection. For opening up to your wants and needs and those of your partner. To discuss what feels good and what doesn’t.

Sex or sexy talk

Begin becoming comfortable with sex or “sexy” talk

Sex talk is different then talking to your partner about sex. This one is about becoming comfortable with talking in language that stimulates both you and your partner. That gets you in the mood.

Difficulty with this…

It’s not uncommon for couples to have some struggle around how to do this. Some might not feel comfortable with talking about their sex life or using sexual language. For any couples struggling with this and wanting help, please consider contacting a couples therapist or marriage counselor. Relationship help is available…


By: Anna McElearney, LMFT, LPC, NCC

Blog is intended for educational and informational purposes only.

 

 

Filed Under: Couples Therapy, Individual Therapy, Marriage Counseling Tagged With: Communication in Marriages, communication in relationships, Couples Therapy, desire in relationships, Marriage Counseling, martial sex

Anna McElearney, LMFT, LPC, NCC

Austin Area Marriage Counseling

Austin, TX 78759

512-550-7918
anna@counselingwithanna.com


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