Love Communication between Spouses
So, what do I mean by love communication?
This is how we talk and communicate with our spouse. Is it love communication? Or is it sending a different message?
Is your love communication (both verbal and nonverbal) saying, I’m open to hearing you even if I disagree? I’m open to learning more about you, your thoughts and experiences?
Or, is the communication we are sending saying we are closed off?
It can be really hard at times to be open to hearing your partner’s point of view. There’s likely to be reasons why at times you might be closed off or defensive. We all have our ways of self protection – of protecting ourselves when we feel we are being unfairly treated.
Being defensive and closed off is there for a reason. Which makes turning toward your spouse during these times with an openness to understand their point of view can be really difficult. But when done, can offer new ways of relating that actually allows each of you to be heard.
How to have love communication
One way toward having love communication with your spouse is to steer clear from having to be right!
Many couples fall into the trap of arguing to be right versus communicating your needs so that you can be understood. Sometimes when we hang on tight to being right, we lose sight on what our spouse is going through. What they might be experiencing and what their needs are. And vice versa…as they won’t be able to see your needs or what you’re experiencing either.
If couples can begin to come from a place of wanting to understand their spouse’s point of view versus telling them how they should be feeling, then there is room for each to grow. To share their own view points and be seen by their beloved.
Help for love communication
If you’re struggling with this in your relationship, I can help. Contact me to schedule a couples therapy or marriage counseling appointment. Together, we can learn how to transform your communication into love communication.
By: Anna McElearney, LMFT, LPC, NCC
Blog intended for educational and informational purposes only.
