Love Relationship Question That’s Universal…
One love relationship question I often hear is around partners not going to bed at the same time and how this impacts their relationship.
How this makes them feel when each goes to bed separately.
And sometimes, because they go to bed separately, they end up sleeping in different rooms – one falls asleep on the couch while the other is in the bedroom.
So, question for you…what’s it like in your relationship?
How do you and your spouse or partner go to sleep each night?
What are your mornings like? How do you both wake up and start your day?
The next relationship consideration speaks to this…
Thou shall put thy partner to bed each night and awaken with thy partner each morning. (Stan Tatkin)
I recently wrote a newsletter article on the importance of “rituals” in relationships and one of the rituals I suggested was the importance of putting each other to bed each night and awakening each morning with each other.
So, why is this important?…
“Putting your partner to bed each night and awakening each morning with your partner” can help create closeness and connection that might otherwise get lost throughout the day when you’re both busy trying to get everything done.
Allow this to be a special time for you both.
It’s dedicated time just for the two of you – to end the day together and awaken together.
A time for connection, for putting down the smart phones, computers and tablets, and focusing on spending time together – just the two of you.
Waking up together offers the same opportunity for couples to embark on their day knowing they matter to each other. Taking a few minutes each morning as you awaken to connect, to talk with each other…
So, what if you’re not tired when your partner is? What if you wake up at different times?
The above common love relationship question is one I also hear. Couples worry because they feel they might have to give up time to themselves or parts of their individuality.
But you don’t have to change who you are to do this…you can begin by simply laying in bed next to each other. Tucking your spouse or partner into bed, so to speak, before you go into another room to decompress or have time to yourself.
It’s about a moment in time to quiet down together, hold each other, or talk to one another.
And if you wake up at different times, maybe there are things you could do for each other that make you feel connected, cared for and seen.
This is where your own personal creativity kicks in…this is the fun stuff…coming up with ways to connect that are meaningful to you both.
This isn’t about what anyone else is doing, this is about making it meaningful and special for your relationship.
If you’re having a hard time and need help, please contact me, I’d be glad to work with you.
By: Anna McElearney, LMFT
*Blog is intended for educational informational purposes only.