What’s one way you can make an apology meaningful?
Know what you are apologizing about!
Saying I’m sorry without any context behind it, without communicating what you are truly sorry about, misses the opportunity to express that you truly understand what you’ve been arguing about and that you truly get why your spouse is upset.
Often times, one partner might say, “I’m sorry your feelings got hurt.”
Or, “I’m sorry I hurt you, that was not my intention.”
While these are well meaning sentiments, they do not get at the heart of what the issue was that started the argument in the first place. Nor, does it show any responsibility for your part. An apology like the two examples above can feel one sided.
Know what you are apologizing about.
When making an apology, it’s important to communicate that you care about why they are upset.
This lets your spouse know that you get their pain. That you are aware of their hurt feelings and how they may have gotten hurt. It communicates that you care.
I hope this one tip brings you both closer together.
If you find there are recurring struggles yet to be healed and you are considering marriage counseling, please feel free to contact me to schedule an appointment.
By: Anna McElearney, LMFT Associate
Serving Austin Area for Couples Therapy and Marriage Counseling.