Marriage Counseling & Infidelity – How To Stop The Hurt

After Infidelity is Discovered – What Do I Do
Marriage counseling is a powerful resource to help with the disruption infidelity has on a marriage. Learning that your spouse has been cheating can be one of the most traumatic experiences. It can feel as if your world has just been turned upside-down. Like you don’t have stable footing and you’re not sure who to trust anymore.
It can impact your sense of normalcy and safety. It can bring up a number of overwhelming and different thoughts and feelings from moment to moment.
This is where marriage counseling can help.
Marriage counseling can help with common intrusive thoughts that often occur after infidelity has been discovered.
Thoughts like:
- What other secrets don’t I know?
- Who is this person that I thought I knew?
- How could they do this to me? To us?
- What future is there now for us?
Marriage counseling can also help with common feelings such as:
- Anxiety
- Anger
- Depression
- Shame
- Guilt
- Numbness
- Loss of safety and security
Marriage counseling can help you express your thoughts and feelings to your spouse.
Infidelity impacts both spouses. The spouse that had the affair and the spouse that learned of the affair.
It can be overwhelming for both spouses to talk about what they are each going through without the help of a trained professional. A professional marriage counselor can help you both through this uncomfortable and painful time.
It’s important for both spouses to be able to express their thoughts and feelings. But what can happen is, when spouses try to do this on their own, without a marriage counselor, things can quickly escalate out of control or shut down completely. Leaving you both with so much to say and not being able to say it.
When Security In Your Marriage Is No Longer.
We all need security in our relationships. And when your security is shattered due to infidelity, it can be very hard to feel safe and secure around your spouse.
Our normal, natural, tendency is to protect ourselves. Protect ourselves from hurt and pain. And when the source of pain is from your spouse, then we find ways to protect ourselves from our spouse. Protect ourselves from being hurt again by them.
Marriage counseling can help spouses with this fundamental need of security.
Marriage counseling can help provide an environment of safety for both spouses so that each can protect themselves while being able to communicate with each other in ways that allow them both to be heard.
Marriage counseling can help address intense emotions and feelings in a way that allows it to be heard by the other person. Often when personal verbal attacks are thrown back and forth, for example, nobody is able to really hear, understand, or listen to each other. Marriage counseling, with a trained professional marriage counselor, can help with this.
What Does the Future Look Like?
Marriage counseling can also help spouses with this significant question and decision of – what do we do now?
Do we find a way to stay together? Or, do we end our marriage?
These are intensely personal and important decisions. No one answer is right for everyone. Some, spouses may decide to end their marriage. And, some spouses may decide to continue in their marriage.
Each decision is a personal one.
Marriage counseling can help spouses navigate through these important and tough questions. It can help spouses address what is needed for them moving forward, in either direction. Whether they decide to separate or stay together.
Marriage Counseling Can Help.
If you’re struggling with infidelity in your marriage and need help, talk to a professional marriage counselor to learn more about how they can help and if marriage counseling is right for you.
*Blog is intended for educational and informational purposes only.
If you live in the Austin, TX, area and are looking for a marriage counselor, please contact me.