Are you in marriage counseling and do you have a relationship mindset?
Part of the benefit of marriage counseling is to become more securely attached to each other. To learn how to communicate – talk and listen – to each other. To feel truly heard and understood.
What also is important is having a relationship mindset – which marriage counseling can also help with.
What is a relationship mindset?
Through marriage counseling, your marriage counselor can help you uncover what is most important in your marriage. What foundational structures are important to you and your spouse. And from there, identifying ways to keep that foundation strong.
This is where creating a relationship mindset comes in. This is when you keep your spouse first in mind in all decision making, both little and big. Seeking friendships with other couples that you admire and look up to. These are sometimes referred to as mentor couples.
Sometimes, these mentor couples don’t have to be actual people you know. They can be from books you’ve read, movies you’ve seen, etc. The point is more about surrounding yourself (and your mind) with what you want, not what you don’t. So, what you listen to matters. Who you surround yourself with matters. What you read and let into your system matters.
These are things to consider when in the process of seeing a marriage counselor that can help improve your marriage.
Self care and your marriage
When you’re taking care of your individual self, you can also take care of your marriage. Similar to what we were just talking about with mentor couples and surrounding yourself with what you want not what you don’t.
Knowing what you need around self care is so important. It not only helps you, it also helps everyone around you, everyone you love. Your spouse, your children, your pets, etc.
Self care is more than just a bubble bath or hot cup of tea – although those are fantastic too…it is also knowing how your mind works. How your thoughts influence your feelings and how you might react according to what you’re feeling and the impact that has.
It’s also about de-cluttering. De-cluttering from the inside-out is how I like to think about it. This means, not only looking at your thoughts but also beginning to set boundaries. Knowing what to say no to so that you can say yes to what you truly want.
Help with self care and your marriage
I have so much more to say on self care and how that can impact your marriage. So, I’ll plan to write more articles soon. In the meantime, if you’re struggling in any of these areas, please reach out. Seeing a marriage counselor can help. If you’d like to schedule a session with me, just send me an email or give me a call. Together, we will get you scheduled and begin working on creating the marriage and life you want.
By: Anna McElearney, LMFT, LPC, NCC
*Blog is intended for educational and informational purposes only.