Relationship Problems & Couples Therapy
Relationship problems can strike any relationship at any time.
It can happen when relationships are just starting out.
Mid-way into a relationship.
Or years after having a long term relationship.
This doesn’t mean your relationship isn’t meant to be.
But it might mean considering seeing a couples therapist to help you work through difficult times.
Relationship Problems & Communication
Communication is such an important component to relationships.
Relationship problems around communication can look many different ways.
And can become repetitive, creating distance, hurt feelings, resentment and frustration.
Common Communication Relationship Problems
1. Trust Issues
Trusting early in a relationship can be difficult.
It can also be difficult if you’ve been together for a long time yet are having a difficult time fully trusting.
Trust is foundational for relationships.
But letting someone in and being vulnerable can be overwhelming and fear inducing.
You may have had previous relationships where you’ve have relationship problems and trust has been broken. Leaving it harder for you to fully trust moving forward.
You may have had experiences throughout your life where your trust has been broken in some way.
As an experienced couples therapist, I work with many couples experiencing relationship problems around trust.
It is common and you’re not alone.
2. Wants to Talk / Doesn’t Want to Talk
This is a common relationship pattern that many couples can fall into and can lead to relationship problems.
It’s a cycle where – where one goes, so goes the other. Meaning, when one partner shuts down or avoids talking (maybe they leave the room or just tune out while the other is talking).
The other partner wants to talks things out. And might follow them into the other room or try to get them to tune back in somehow.
In this common communication pattern, what happens is you have one partner wanting to talk and engage. And the other partner wanting to not talk and disengage.
So the more one partner disengages, the more the other partner wants to engage.
And vice versa.
The more one partner wants to engage. The more the other partner wants to disengage.
What usually gets missed in this pattern is that both partners actually want connection.
Want to be heard and understood by the other.
Want to know they matter.
They just have different ways of communicating that can get misunderstood. This is where couples therapy can help.
As a trained and specialized couple therapist, I can help couples identify if this pattern is present and can help couples work through and change this way of communicating.
When partners begin to feel criticized, it can cause relationship problems and can be harmful to relationships.
Dr. John Gottman, a leading couple therapist researcher, has studied this and found when criticism is paired with contempt, significant relationship problems can result including divorce.
And as a Level One Trained Gottman Couple Therapist, I have seen many couples effected by the impact criticism can have.
And the resentment in addition to other relationship problems it can bring.
Criticism in relationships often looks like:
- Trying to fix the other
- Criticism is different then critiquing or complaining.
- Criticism is more of a focus on your partner’s character or personality.
An attack – so to speak – on who they are.
There are many reasons whey people criticize. And with an experienced couples therapist, you can get to the underlying causes of this. And being communicating in different ways.
Jealousy is often about fearing someone or something is going to take your partner away.
And this can be hard on relationships because it can look as if one partner is:
- Unable to spend time alone or without you
- Demanding of your undivided attention
Causing relationship problems around not being able to have outside friendships.
Relationship problems around not being able to participate in activities without each other.
These are just a few relationship problems that can spark from jealousy. But couples therapy can help.
5. Not the First to Know
When you’re feeling as if you’re the last to know in your relationship, it can cause feelings of frustration and anger.
Especially when you’re the last to know about matters of importance.
Important things that impact your partner, you, and your relationship.
This can cause distance in relationships .
Through couples therapy, couples can learn how to turn this around.
Help for Relationship Problems
Couples therapy can be significantly helpful for relationship problems, for any relationship, at any stage.
It’s never too early or too late to get the help you’re looking for.
If both partners are open and willing to work on the relationship, change is possible.
Contact me today if you’re struggling and looking for couples therapy.