Rituals In Your Relationship and Marriage

Do you have rituals in your relationship? I bet you do and some you might not even realize that what you’re doing is actually a ritual. Or, another way of saying it is instead of a ritual, are there habits you’re currently doing and maybe have been doing for a while in your marriage?

I’ve talked about the importance of rituals in other relationship blog articles so today I’m going to take a slightly different slant on this.

I was watching a motivational webcast by Tony Robbins and he was mentioning rituals people have and do every day. What struck me was when he started talking about rituals that we do that actually move us away from what we say we want. I hadn’t thought about it in those terms before…

So, for this relationship article, I’d like to focus on that a little more closely as it relates to what you might want out of your marital relationship.

Habits or Rituals You’re Currently Doing But Might Not Realize It

To get us in the spirit of some examples of what this might mean…here are some ideas.

Do you find yourself saying things like:

• “I wish our relationship was different.”
• “If we talked more maybe we could be more intimate with each other.”
• “Spending more time together would feel so great, I would feel loved again.”
• “I wish we ______(fill in the blank).

Taking any of the above examples of what you might wish for, think about what you are doing each and every day to grow these wishes. Now, I want you to think about each and every day what actions you might be taking that are actually counter to those wishes.

Examples of Rituals That Actually Are Counterproductive to What You Want

For example, if one of your wishes is to talk more and spend more quality time together. Can you think of how many times throughout your day when you both are together and during this time, you might be on your phone scrolling through various things. Instead, maybe before doing that daily habit or ritual, maybe you can turn toward your spouse and begin talking to each other.  Maybe this can start to begin the daily ritual you reach for first.

Or, maybe you’re in the office doing work when you could be taking some time to connect with your spouse.

The examples are endless on how we can build daily rituals in our relationship and marriage that actually sabotage what we want out of our marriage. You’re not alone in this! This is universal in my opinion and I think many people do this without actually thinking about it in this way. I know when I heard Tony Robbins talking about it in that webcast, it definitely made me think about what I do each and every day that has turned into a ritual or habit that I actually don’t want to be doing.

My hope for you is that this sparks inspiration within you. Inspiration to look at some of your daily habits or rituals and see what actually is serving you and what isn’t. And from that awareness, you can begin to make more intentional decisions and behavior changes…

If you need support and help with this, please reach out. I’ve helped many couples transform their communication and marriage.