Sex and Intimacy in Your Relationship
Have you been together or married for a while and sex and intimacy between you has grown cold? Or, maybe you are in a new relationship and you’re starting to see changes. Whether you’re in a long term or new relationship, sex and intimacy concerns can be one of the most significant struggles couples face.
But, sex and intimacy are also two different things. Yes, sex can be intimate and can sometimes include intimacy. Intimacy doesn’t always include sex.
Let me say that again. For some, sex equals intimacy. But, that’s just a part of what intimacy is. Sex can include intimacy but intimacy does not have to include sex.
Intimacy is another way of saying…”In. To. Me. You. See.” If you think of it this way, this includes both your physical relationship and also your emotional relationship together.
Sex and Intimacy : How to bring it back?
How to bring sex, intimacy, closeness and vulnerability back to your relationship…
There are several ways couples can begin building closeness back into their marriage or relationship. One way is to begin becoming curious about each other. Who each other is. What each other likes. This includes both the little and big things…the sexual and non-sexual things.
Become curious about each other again. Ask questions. Listen to the answers. And continue asking questions and listening to each other. Begin to take interest in each other again. Similar to when you first began dating each other. Don’t let this become and stay flat and stale in your marriage or relationship. Take a step together and try something different. Engage the emotional connection by becoming curious, taking an interest, asking questions, and listening to each other’s responses.
The other is to begin learning how to touch one another again. Both sexual touch and non-sexual touch. Hold hands with each other. Hug each other often. Blow kisses toward each other and actually kiss each other. Linger in the kiss. Hold it for a few seconds. Let each other know that this kiss is different, you are kissing someone who occupies a special place in your life.
Laugh with one another. Laugh while doing all of these things. Take the seriousness out of it. Play. Laugh. Bring back fun toward and with each other.
Flirt with each other. Send each other loving and kind messages throughout the day. Touch points as I like to call them. Little small messages that let your spouse or partner know you’re there and you are thinking of them.
If you need help in your relationship, please reach out. Through marriage counseling or couples therapy, we can begin to get at the heart of what’s keeping you both distant. And begin to work toward having the relationship or marriage you both want and need.