One Aspect Toward Building Trust in Relationships…
Trust is vital to a healthy, happy, and satisfying relationship. Without trust in relationships, many issues can begin to surface and start eroding the foundation on which your relationship is built. Issues such as communication, intimacy and closeness.
We often talk about trust in relationships and how important it is but I seldom hear conversations around trusting and trustworthiness and why both are important. So, what is the difference between being trusting and trustworthy?
When I sat down to write this post, I decided to look up the definition of trust on Wikipedia. Here’s what it said:
- “Definitions of trust typically refer to a situation characterized by the following aspects: One party (trustor) is willing to rely on the actions of another party (trustee).”
To trust someone there’s some vulnerability and risk that takes place.
When you trust your partner and share something of importance with them you are trusting them. Trusting that they will care for you in your time of need, trust that they will know how to respond, trust that they will hold what you are sharing.
When you’re in the trustworthy role, the responsibility is to hold the information your partner is sharing. To be there for them, to listen to them, and provide comfort and support. Generally speaking, there might not be much of you being shared.
If there is balance in your relationship and both parties occupy both roles, emotional closeness has room to develop. Both can feel equally heard and valued. Risk and vulnerability are shared. Both partners trust each other and both are trustworthy.
How to balance trust in relationships?
Is being – trustworthy and trusting – balanced in your relationship? Meaning, are you both taking on and fulfilling these roles?
Or, is there one partner who’s mostly doing the trusting (sharing of him or herself) but is seldom in the trustworthy role? Meaning, one partner shares more of him or herself than the other.
This can lead to imbalances in the relationship, where one person may feel they don’t know the other as well as they’d like, and the other might feel as if they don’t have room to share.
Becoming aware of this distinction and how it looks in your relationship, can be the first step toward improving your communication and closeness.
You might also consider couples therapy to explore trust in your relationship further with you partner or spouse. If you’d like to contact me to schedule an appointment or learn more, please feel free to contact me at 512.550.7918 or email me at anna@counselingwithanna.com.
Blog is intended for informational and educational purposes only.
