How do you know if you’re involved in an emotional affair?

An emotional affair may begin innocently with a friend or co-worker. And, as social media continues to grow, more and more emotional affairs begin through connections to old boyfriends/girlfriends made on-line.

As the friendship grows, you begin to realize how easy it is to talk with this person. They make you feel great and give you the companionship you desire.

So, how do you know if it’s moved from an innocent friendship to an emotional affair…

• You begin looking forward to times when you can talk with this person.
• You set aside times to talk privately – keeping this relationship secret from your spouse or partner.
• You withhold details from your spouse/partner about the extent of the relationship.
• You begin confiding in this person about your personal dreams, desires, hopes and goals. Things you would normally only share with your spouse or partner.
• You begin talking with this person about things you are not happy with in your marriage/relationship.
• You begin to compare how this person makes you feel versus how you feel in your marriage/relationship.
• You begin to fantasize about this person and about what it might be like to move the relationship into a physical one.
• You start to talk more intimately and sexually with one another.

Do all emotional affairs become physical?

While some emotional affairs may move into physical affairs, not all do.

But, as the emotional bond develops, so does the secrecy, lies, and violation of trust that can significantly impact your marriage/relationship.

Betrayed Spouse or Partner

Emotional affairs are often difficult for the betrayed spouse or partner because of the “emotional connection” their spouse/partner had with another person.

Often, it’s difficult for betrayed spouses/partners to overcome thoughts and feelings that someone knows their spouse/partner more intimately than you. This can result in a loss of special-ness that your marriage/relationship represented.

Upon disclosure of an emotional affair, couples may decide to seek the help of a marriage counselor or couple therapist. Couples therapy can help couples navigate through difficult conversations and emotions.