Blame - How it's Impacting Your Relationship

Blame is assigning responsibility for a fault or wrong. [caption id="attachment_1971" align="alignright" width="300"] Diminish Blame in Your Marriage

Transcend Blame to Healthy Communication[/caption] While it's common to want to assign responsibility to someone or something when we feel we've been wronged. Problem is, when we begin blaming each other for circumstances and feelings, we begin harming our relationship and creating toxic interactions. It's a slippery slope when we blame our spouse or partner for something. On one hand, it helps us release feelings and emotions. But on the other hand, it can take the form of righteous indignation that can lead couples down an unhealthy path. When one partner blames, the natural tendency for the other is to defend his or herself. This creates a situation where now you're arguing over who's right and who's wrong. And nobody wins this.

How to Move Away From Blame

First step is to become aware of how prevalent it is in your relationship. How much do you blame your partner or spouse for things? How much does he or she blame you for things? When does it typically enter into your relationship? Is it around certain issues or is it more pervasive? How do you feel when you are stuck in this cycle? Meaning, how do you feel when you are blaming your partner? How do you feel a few hours later after things have settled? Do you know how your partner feels? Do you know the impact it has on him or her? Once you have an understanding of how much blame is a factor in your relationship, then you can begin to learn how to react differently.

Next Step Toward Addressing Blame In Your Relationship

After you have more of an understanding of how it looks and presents itself in your relationship, you can begin working toward communicating differently with your spouse or significant other. The biggest step and often the hardest is being able to be vulnerable with each other. Being able to truly open up and discuss what you've noticed about yourself, your partner and your relationship as it relates to blame. It is possible to express your feelings without blaming the other person. But sometimes a little extra help and support might be needed. This is where a therapist can help.

Couples Therapy & Marriage Counseling Can Help

If you're struggling with this in your relationship and want help getting to the root of issues between you and your significant other, you might consider seeing a couples therapist or marriage counselor. A professional that is trained in relationship dynamics can help you move toward healthier ways of interacting and communicating.

By: Anna McElearney, LMFT *Blog is intended for informational and educational purposes only.