Ten Relationship Gems for a Secure Relationship
Have you ever thought about what the ingredients might be for a happy marriage?
What the recipe might be for a happy relationship?
I recently came across 10 considerations developed by Stan Tatkin, PsyD., MFT. Stan Tatkin is the the creator of a model for couples therapy called PACT, Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy.
I am Level One trained as a PACT couple therapist and when I became aware of these, I wanted to share them with you!
They are important cornerstones for building a secure relationship and I’d like to dive into each one separately in the next several blog posts so we can look at them more closely.
In the meantime, here are the 10 Considerations for a Secure Relationship
- Thou shalt protect the safety and security of thy relationship at all costs.
- Thou shalt base thy relationship on true mutuality, remembering that all decisions and actions must be good for thee AND for thine partner.
- Thou shalt not threaten the existence of the relationship, for so doing would benefit no one.
- Thou shalt appoint thy partner as go-to person for all matters, making certain thy partner is first to know—not second, third, or fourth—in all matters of importance.
- Thou shalt provide a tether to thy partner all the days and nights of thy life, and never fail to greet thy partner with good cheer.
- Thou shalt protect thy partner in public and in private from harmful elements, including thyself.
- Thou shall put thy partner to bed each night and awaken with thy partner each morning.
- Thou shalt correct all errors, including injustices and injuries, at once or as soon as possible, and not make dispute of who was the original perpetrator.
- Thou shalt gaze lovingly upon thy partner daily and make frequent and meaningful gestures of appreciation, admiration, and gratitude.
- Thou shalt learn thy partner well and master the ways of seduction, influence, and persuasion, without the use of fear or threat.
Source: Tatkin, S. (2011). Ten commandments for relationship essentials. In J. Zeig & T. Kulbatsk (Eds. ), For couples: Ten commandments for every aspect of your relationship journey (pp. 29–30). Phoenix, AZ: Milton Erickson Foundation.
If you’re in the Austin area and are considering couples therapy or individual therapy, contact me at anna@counselingwithanna.com or 512.550.7918.
Blog is intended for educational and information purposes only.
